writing

self-destructive

 

<self-destructive behavior: outward versus inward>

i suppose, there are two types of self-destructive people:  those who implode and those you explode.

those who implode, are the type who silently fight a battle within themselves.
they bottle up their emotions, put masks up to assure others that they are okay,
and in more extreme cases, self-harm. they bare the weight of their pain and sorrow alone,vigilantly believing they are saving others from their grudge.

they are destructive to their own selves. they tears themselves apart emotionally and sometimes physically. but when they do implode, they do it privately. every effort is designed to save their loved ones from “dealing” with their problems. but despite their efforts, they do in fact hurt those around them. they develop behavioral characteristic that are unstable and lean towards introvertedness.

 

those who explode, are dangerous to those around them and more importantly, themselves. yes, they act recklessly. yes, they shove down their conscious because the truth is harder to bare and lies are easier to swallow. they directly hurt their loved ones. But such reckless behavior does in fact, hurt themselves too. they push their conscience down so efficiently, they sometimes forget who they ever were.

so pick your poison: the lonely, self-sacrificing road or the reckless, self-loathing roller coaster.

 

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5 thoughts on “self-destructive”

  1. I’m glad I saw your blog as it gave me insight I currently need. I implode. Which to me means I should probably go see a therapist. I overcame an anger problem by seeing a great counselor for a few months. I think the two issues could be related. It’s the expectations I had that contributed to most of my anger. So I became more open to other outcomes. I think most of my stress that leads to implosion is me being closed up to the unexpected pressures.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’m so happy that you did find my post and that it was beneficial for you!

      It’s all about small steps, in all honesty. Setting goals for yourself, whether they are something so simple as going out to a cafe or a public area and chatting with someone or even going hiking.

      It is great to be self-aware of yourself. Knowing your limits, knowing your triggers is so important. It is so powerful that you did go to seek help and that you are more now. I’ve gone to therapy twice and I felt like each experience was different due to the stages in my life.

      Implosion can be terrifying and I suffer from it as well. It’s like a wave of such strong emotion drowning you and you just want it to stop but don’t know how.

      Opening up to people and to things in general can be difficult but like I said before, it’s all about small steps. When I generally make big goals for myself and I fail at them, I feel like a failure and am hard on myself. Celebrate the smallest of victories and take time to know yourself.

      Thank you for reading💕 and I also forgot another factor- a third party. Apathy/numbness. Those who are self-destructive and who do not care. showing that you care, for yourself, even the people around you, demonstrates your strength 💕✨

      Like

      1. Thank you:-). I tried to reply last week but my phone hides what I’m typing so it’s hard to make sure spelling is working out as I go. I completely agree with small steps. Life is so much better when we are mindful and strive to evolve daily adding more happiness in the world.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. No worries love💕

        life wouldn’t be so worth it if it were easy- there will be days where small step seem like leaps but we must celebrate those small steps nonetheless! And yes, we must spread this positivity- there is so much negativity in the world , it’s great to be the balance people need✨

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  2. no worries love💕💕✨ there will be days small steps seem like leaps but we must celebrate those steps nonetheless! And I agree- spreading love and happiness is so therapeutic. Once you reach a balance, nothing can hold you back!

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